A thump in my heart

Have you ever felt a sudden thump in you heart, suddunly your heart start beating at a much faster rate then it normally used to beat ? and you can actully hear you heart beat so loud in your ears that it feels like there is a speaker inside your body which is amplifing the signal at much higher volume and the very same moment something sends a chilling wave down your spines ? and all it happens suddenly when you remember something sitting on your chair. Yes this is what i have been going through since morning. for no apperent reason my heart is beating at a much faster rate since morning. I am a lazy human and i dont indulge myself in much of physical action. so fast heart pace is outta the question.

since morning hour by hour this feeling is growing and taking a grip over me. my mind is not at rest. its thinking one or the other thing continuesly. and like a wild fire ants its biting and piercing a hole in my soul from withen.

and to make it worse i somehow feels that i know why am i going through all that pain. ;) but then something in my making me ignore that.. its like a war going inside me between me and myself. but who so ever wins i know am goona be on a loosing and painful end. with my soul bieng pierced 100's of million of times. its like a virus spreading inside at such a larger pace and uncontrolla ble pace. taking over my brain, body and soul. making me feel chained. i want to be happy but this viurs is acting like a black shadow taking all the happiness under its shadow and converting them into sorrow.

i need to kill all the processes in my brain and make it go sleep so deep that i dont feel anything for a bit longer than normal period of time.

Time for some sedatives ;)